Black Clouds.

It’s sunny out.

The hurricane is gone.

The men are taking off the shutters and working on stuff outside.

I’m sitting inside with thoughts running through my mind.

“I can’t stand anyone, I don’t want to be bothered.”

“What the hell is wrong with me? ”

“I’m a nice person! Why do I feel so edgy and hateful?”

“I can’t get out of this hole.”

It’s like the black clouds are taking over.

 

So this past week has been a very stressful week.

We had a hurricane coming for us in South Florida and I already have anxiety so this brought on a new level of anxiety.

I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack and my head was going to explode.

“What if we lost power? ”

“I don’t want my 5 month old to be sweating in the dark.”

We had spent two days running from my parents house to my boyfriends parents house getting ready for the storm.

Now the hurricane is gone and my anxiety and depression kind of calmed down a little bit but now I am edgy as hell.

I don’t want to go anywhere, I don’t want to do anything and I don’t want any interaction with anyone.

Feelings of hate and frustration fill me.

“What the hell do I have to be angry about?”

“Why do I feel like I can’t stand anyone?! ”

“What is wrong with me?”

 

It’s been a rough few days.

-Christina

 

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4 Comments

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  1. Christina, First all their is nothing wrong with you ! You’re amazing mommy , who loves her daughter dearly , Motherhood is very overwhelming at times , don’t put so much pressure on yourself , take one day at a time , Take the time for you , let others help , it will all work out in the end ,writing or talking about your feelings great release , I do it all the time love you , xxxxx

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  2. Hey!

    I’m loving your blog but I would also like to invite you to submit a short piece to my own. I think your perspective and style of writing would be a perfect piece for my project.

    It’d also be a great way to get your blog/writing out there.

    Please feel free to email me (jennifer@youngandtwenty) with more questions, or take a look at the ‘BEING Young & Twenty’ page on my blog.

    I hope I’ll hear from you 🙂

    Jennifer

    youngandtwenty.com

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